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Expectations, Judgements & Attachments

Updated: Jan 17, 2023

How do we self sabotage?

Sounds easy enough right, but how many times in a single day or even a single hour do these three-nemesis come strolling in without a care in the world and cause disruption. Are you even aware when this happens?

Just take a moment and think about it. Take one day in your life, one moment in your life; reflect and take a breath and go inward!

When you have an expectation that you should be receiving something (that you want or feel you deserve) that is just not showing up, you may feel the Universe is against you, become angry and bitter.

That someone should be doing something for you just because you are in relationship with them, without you having to ask, better yet just because you thought it they should be a mind reader and know what you are thinking.

YOU are expecting a particular outcome to just happen, I mean you studied, worked hard, focused on what you thought were all the right things, on and on. To you this one thing that you have been expecting is it, the cure all; it will get you just what you wanted, you’re only asking for one thing (at first hint, hint) heck you may have even created a vision board that has become your altar. You may say to yourself, Universe if you give me this one thing I will be set for life! Everything will be perfect, its so simple.

What has really happened is that you have placed a condition and a limitation on that expectation that can never be met.

This expectation is flooded with perfection pictures from your mind. You have imagined this outcome, this happening and these expectations and your perfection pictures, well they are just too perfect.

Now I am not saying we won’t obtain our goals in life, but for the most part when we do receive “it”, well it’s just not good enough, not exactly how we planned, or expected it to be, so it begins the journey into judgement.

We start to judge what could have possibly gone wrong, I mean we had that perfect picture in our mind’s eye, we felt what it would be like to obtain what we wanted. As we received it that voice in our head states, “it’s just not what I signed up for.” I want something else and the cycle begins yet again.

Better yet you may begin to judge another other because it surely cannot be what we did, heavens no! Obviously, they must have done something other than affected our perfection picture, making you unable to receive what you were seeking. At the same token you are know judging somebody else in order to please your ego. Afterall your perfect right?

Well, I hate to break it to you, but that person you are judging is oblivious to the perfection picture you have been running in your head over and over again, like a broken record with a groove so deep it can’t snap out of that spot in order to play the next tune! (Okay yes dating myself, but you get the picture!)

Judgement is by far one of the most dangerous in that it separates you from others, putting yourself on a sort of pedestal as you point your finger three-hundred and sixty degrees around yourself. In actuality you should be pointing the finger at yourself and looking inward. No one on this planet can make you discontent without your permission. Next thing you know you may be living in a bubble alone and can’t figure out why whenever you interact with someone it never works out. My dear there is a common denominator in all relationships and that is Y-O-U.

You can blame everyone around you, no matter how hard you try. It all comes down to you and the choices you make through your thoughts, feelings and actions.

We can place so much judgement on another. Just start to pay attention how many times do you judge others or yourself in one day! How does it make you feel?

Really tune into yourself and pay attention to how you react and respond.

Are you trying to control the narrative? Control yourself? Control another? Look and look deep! Peel away all the facades you have built around you and personalities you have filled yourself with to serve that ego of yours and be intimate and vulnerable with yourself. Dig deep, write it down, be your very own detective, but for goodness sakes wake up to the patterns you are living by.

Can’t shake those patterns? Then ask yourself;

What are you attached to? Is it a person, place, material item? Are you attached to your personality, habits, belief systems? Check it out by going in. Make a list and ask yourself! Your inner self will answer you!

Does that attachment keep you stuck unable to move? Just like stagnant water it gets a bit cloudy, murky and muddy, yet here you choose to stand.

Attachment keeps us in a place of complacency and discontent. If there are others in our life, we may be so attached to the other that we do not allow them the freedom to be, do and have. After all you do not own them, they should have the freedom to move through their life.

Many times, we place limitations on our relationships that no one can ever successfully perform. Our demands/expectations are too great and once the other notices that they could never meet our terms, conditions and expectations they run for the hills for freedom!

This cycle can play out in so many ways all beginning with these three words in action.

In reality you are meant to look inward at the self. Can you do that without judgement? When I say look inward, I mean go deep. What do these three elements cover up in you? What are they no letting you see about yourself? How do they protect you? Or shall I say provide you with a false sense of protection or control?

Your key in this life is to get to know every aspect of YOUR SELF. What makes you tick, why do you feel what you feel? What conditions have you placed in your life that are serving your ego, rather than your Spirit.

Reflect inward, write it down, look in the mirror, meditate, walk with yourself and LOOK INWARD!

Why? In the end to open up your heart. To have your heart the center of every action you perform as you move through life. Start living from a different chapter, a new perspective and flourish!

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